Not many people recognize the name Neil Strauss. Millions, however, know of “the guy who wrote The Game“—the self-proclaimed “transformational journalist” who wrote a reportage-style memoir on “the secret society of pickup artists.” The book became the bible of any AFC (average frustrated champ) hoping to become a PUA (pick-up artist) and perhaps even a PUG (pick-up guru). Strauss, in the words is “a hero to men seeking women.” But that’s not how he sees himself. Now, he is someone who doesn’t fear commitment or intimacy as revealed in his latest book. The latest installation follows Strauss from cheating, to sex addiction therapy, to polyamory, to swinging, to setting up a love commune, to hiking Macchu Picchu with a sore, overused penis, to enlightenment and—finally—to monogamy and his own wedding. The Truth is a well-written book, and a hard one to put down. Strauss is a master at what’s perhaps the greatest secret of writing about oneself (other than, well, being able to write): he has the confidence and bravery of holding nothing back.

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Not the graphic details, not the uncomfortable feelings. But how does Strauss reconcile teaching men how to pick up women—through The Rules of The Game, featuring”” a woman (pdf, p. 81)—and running a lucrative business from what he’s learned as a pick-up artist with this new, grown-up self who values relationships and love? The following is edited for clarity. So after teaching millions of men how to “trick” women into liking them, you are now a convinced monogamist. What happens to The Game, that culture, and its rules?

I think there’s a cultural narrative, which is: guy who is a pick-up artist and now is a monogamist, and that’s a 180-degree turn. But that’s not quite the way I see it, which is more: there’s a lonely guy who is horrible with women, and always in the friend-zone and frustrated, who meets some people who show him how to meet women and sort of fix this social problem in his life. Now he has another problem later in life, which is commitment and relationships. To me it’s just a linear line. What about your personal “brand”? There are this ideas in the culture about branding but it’s so stupid to brand yourself.

You are a person, you’re growing and changing so a branding is almost like saying “this is who I am going to be” and defining yourself to a very narrow niche which forbids growth. That would be a nightmare for me, I can only hope that I continue to write books that continue to chronicle the authenticity of who I am in that moment. You’ve described The Game (0:56), and said that this book, The Truth, is the opposite of that manipulation. Do you feel that way, that the lifestyle of The Game is a manipulative one? The Game is different from the sort of seduction community that it chronicles. Even though it’s been used as a how-to, The Game really is just my story in and out of [the seduction community], the things I see as good, the things I see as bad, the things I got really caught up in and seduced.

I was obviously a journalist, so that community existed before The Game. I just put it all in, so I wouldn’t change the book because it’s simply chronicling that experience. But now some the things that I might have thought were positive at the time I don’t see as positive. In (2:50), you joked about your contribution to the culture being “people wearing ridiculous clothes.” But there’s no doubt that you actually have contributed something to culture. What do you think that is? I guess I have no idea as to what my contribution to the culture is. I did realize when I published the game that it was like a forking path. One path was a weird blip on the pop culture radar where people go out wearing ridiculous clothes saying scripted canned lines and routines.

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The other was a way to get into self-improvement and growth and feel good about it and, though it’s something very subjective, “masculine.” But I’ve seen some people get into [the game] and it just speaks to their dark side, they become worse human beings than they already were. Do you feel responsible for that? I think you can’t control how people respond to your book. All I know is what I read in the media and what I know as a person. As a person, people come up to me and say this book changed my life, or I’m married now and this really helped me, I was really lost. So what I hear anecdotally is positive things.

What I read in the media is negative things. The simple answer is: every time you put out something in the culture, whether it’s a tweet or a book, you are opening yourself up, it’s no longer in your control and you have to let go of that. If we worried about that stuff I think the Bible shouldn’t be in print, judging by the amount of people how’ve been killed because of it. Do you believe that a man can have a trusting relationship even though it is a sacrifice of his own nature? In the words of a geneticist you speak to in the book: “a woman can never be perfect enough for a man not to want to cheat on her”? Absolutely not. The geneticist I talk to in the book was really talking about himself. It comes from a certain parental upbringing that I shared also.